Their Art Teachers Must Be Proud!
So in a nutshell these two geniuses used PERMANENT markers to disguise themselves in order to commit burglary. Note the artistic thought processes that went into these brilliant masks, the bigger one (McNelly) actually went with a Batmanesque theme while the thinner one (Miller) did a very contemporary art piece by only decorating one eyelid. Although by looking at them I am not all that sure they did not allow a couple of three year olds to do the work for them. I think maybe these two should be introduced to other disguise alternatives. Construction paper masks, paper bag masks (making sure to cut holes for the eyes), still going with the marker idea only using Crayola WASHABLE markers, or gluing macaroni or cottonballs to their faces. ALL of these would be on the same age level as their original idea while being a bit more effective.
The brilliance did not end with their disguises, ooooh no, it gets way better! Their getaway vehicle? A very inconspicuous 1994 Buick Roadmaster in what else but WHITE! Now I am thinking they should have considered using those permanent markers to color that black. Or maybe in the same attention drawing fashion as their failed disguises they should have written on the car things like “HEY THIS IS THE GETAWAY CAR” or “YO, POLICE, HERE WE ARE, HERE WE ARE!”
Now for the grand finale of this entire tale. These two were NOT arrested for burglary! They were arrested for attempted burglary because these Einstein’s could not even successfully manage a simple breaking and entering. I mean come on, my Grandma could manage a simple B and E! But I think that possibly my favorite part of the story besides the obvious enjoyment I am getting from looking at their mugshots is, that McNelly, who was driving the needle in a haystack 1994 WHITE Buick Roadmaster, was drunk and was charged with driving while intoxicated!
And I cannot help but love their monikers “The Marker Pen Burglars” in which there are some truths and some lies. Yes they did use marker pens, well, sorta, but calling them burglars is an afront to all other burglars who are able to successfully at least commit the crime, they may still get caught but it would be because of deep investigation. These guys did everything short of walk into the police station and turn themselves in.